August 26, 2007
Now that she doesn't know my blog address, good.
Let's just let it stay at that.
It's not that I am afraid of her, or anything like that.
But since what is said in here is just coming from a 17 and you can't see the importance of my entries but you still visit my blog everyday,(which I find so ironic)
I am helping by just changing the address so that you can take your precious eyes off here.
Anyways, yeserday the most unexpected thing happened.
We chatted.
Somehow MSN was being a fucktard and made everything jam.
When I came back on MSN, I couldn't start the conversation at all.
But as far as I saw how the conversation was going,
I could tell.. that,
Nothing.
I still am in a big blur of mess.
I mentioned everything that I was uncertain about & when it was her turn, JAM.
Fuck MSN.
I just wanted to say.
That not ALL things should have this "getting over it & moving on" theory.
You have to be present, talking about it, facing it, and find a solution after analysing everything.
Compromising.
Not just..
"Ok.. I step back.. its for the best.. im the victim..for the besst. forget it.. nth to explain.."
OMG stop it.
I find that this "getting over it & moving on" theory,
Not sensible at all.
But yesterday was when things could actually be compromised but like i said, fuck MSN!
So I am hoping that you'd chat up with me again and we can continue from where we left off.
I hope you don't just use that theory again.
Go through the matter first, please.
Clear everything.
Maybe, I was wrong to look at you as a fake.
Maybe there was a misunderstanding somewhere, that I misjudged your words & actions for something else.
And this happens because,
The things that I needed to know from you were unexplained,
So how was I to see the picture you're trying to put out?
You have to lay it out, to me.
Not keep it in your thoughts, and expect me to understand.
Anyways.
About this sister matter.
After all this bullshit I daresay.
At least she was getting an honest look at my life.
And in a way that was what mattered.
Yes, I am not a simple girl.
I am a complex person, which you can actually find interesting if you just stop looking at all my flaws for one second.
Now you've seen me for what I am.
I am not going to pretend to be her and fake my own me just for you.
Deep down I believe that being truthful is about the most important thing anyone could be.
If you couldn't be honest, you couldn't be anything.
Not being honest just sets up a chain of disasters that would make everything impossible.
I made a decision on that daw when I was absofuckinglutely hurt, that
I would always always always be totally straight with anyone - whatever it did and
wherever it led.
Now They're Choosing Sides. At 4:25 PM
