August 21, 2007
One thing that I have to say, you are unreasonably determined.
And that's called stubborn.
You are not bothered by anything or everything that has gotta do with me, be it the good things, or the bad things.
Hey, I have a classmate who's 24, from ITE, now excelling, still schooling, unmarried, yet more mature and definitely a girl who makes reasonable assumptions in all kinds of situations.
Oh I'm sorry for being rude, pardon me.
Should I be sorry?
Maybe not.
I love my boyfriend.
I love Nur Azahari.
The only thing that is going to break us up would be because of you.
So now I don't understand why you have to compare ME with HER.
Oh let's now respond to every single detail you mentioned, it's time for me to list all of it out. Because when he tried to respond to you, you ignored it and jump to a totally different point. so now LET'S GO BACK TO WHAT YOU MENTIONED!
You mentioned about :
(1) The time she went straight into your house kitchen and served everyone drinks during Hari Raya.
We JUST went in, and the moment my BUTT TOUCHES THE GROUND, SHE STANDS UP AND GOES INTO YOUR KITCHEN. There wasn't time for me to think, act, or even do anything. What was I supposed to do? I WAS STUNNED.
(2) How you are sooooo stable in your life and responsible while saying I'm not.
Firstly, if you think that having a stable life is like yours, then mine should be classified as MOST stable. I am 17, I am studying, in the future, when I am 30, I'd earn alot and use this money for a living with my family. When you're 30, you're still in the same position. And you can't possibly look out for better jobs because YOUR STUDIES ARE ONLY THAT FAR.
(3) How I live a great life & not doing any house chores.
Before you were married, did you do any house chores? Oh! Yes, if you claim you did, why is it so? Because you HAD to. If I HAD TO DO THE HOUSE CHORES, I would.
But SEE, The thing that YOU'RE NOT GETTING IS.. I have a house keeper. MY MOTHER STUDIED HARD, WORKED HARD, EARNED A LITTLE MORE THAN AVERAGE AND SO SHE USES THIS MONEY TO GET A HOUSE KEEPER.
Any problem with that? She EARNED IT.
It was HER hard work, and she SHARED THIS LUXURY WITH ME, HER DAUGHTER BECAUSE I AM HER FAMILY.
What do you expect, everyone to earn less than you?
You expect yourself to be the most responsible woman on earth while others can't earn alot?
SADDIST!
(4) The time she broke your glass at your house when we settled the problem about bf punching me.
Oh! she doesn't have to pay because she calls your mother IBU?
OH! Then what if I had broken the glass at your house? I WOULD HAVE NEEDED TO PAY!
Because what? I don't call your mother IBU!
You want your brother to be with HER?
Try and make him!
Let's make a deal.
If you manage to get him to love her,
And you manage to get her to fall in love with him,
I'd let go.
Without grudges.
Without disturbing him at all.
Why must I continue this relationship when you keep butting in?
Every single thing I do is a mistake to you?
OH!
And when you talk about all my BAD points, you'd really blabbber!
But when my GOOD points come, you say that there is nothing to be proud of!
HELLO!
Look at me,
Look at you.
Let's compare just ONE point, shall we?
SHALL WE?
NO?
TOO BAD.
YOU DECIDE TO READ ON?
OK!
It's your eyes anyway.
I HAVE COME TO THE STAGE IN MY LIFE WHERE I HAVE READ THE QURAN.
HAVE YOU?
OH!
Another point to compare!
SHALL WE?!?!
Since you like to compare, LET'S!
I HAVE NEVER MADE A REAL TATTOO IN MY LIFE.
HAVE YOU?!
COME ON!
I'm sick of this, okay!
JUST STOP COMPARING ME AND HER!
WHAT IS SO GOOD ABOUT HER?
WHAT IS SO BAD ABOUT ME?
I THINK THAT WE BOTH ARE EQUALLY THE SAME!
Maybe, to you,
She is lembut, has her "Smiling always" motto and infront of people, she gives in!
If you want me to be like her for you just for the sake of being able to stay in your brother's life, i CAN!
I'll be FAKE if you want me to.
Cos that's what this is all about.
ME BEING LIKE HER??
YOU WANT ME TO BE LIKE HER?!?!?!
Enough.
You used to love me and take care of me like your little sister or whatever.
Just because of ONE INCIDENT?
EVERYTHING CHANGES.
CHANGE.
I guess that's the problem with changes-
I guess you never notice the sign until it's too late, until all these little things add up to become one extreme event, one that changes your life and makes you take notice.
I have took notice,
And I think.
Go, go call her to your house now.
Force her to love him.
It wouldn't be that hard, would it?
She also didn't hesitate to THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT I AM HIS GIRLFRIEND AND SHE IS NOT.
SERVING DRINKS STRAIGHT AWAY TO EVERYONE AND I AM THERE LIKE A PIECE OF POO?
KISSING YOUR MOTHER AT BOTH SIDES OF THE CHEEKS WHEN I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT IN MY LIFE?
MEETING HIM WITHOUT HESITATING WHEN HE NEEDS HER!
Great!
All of you need her.
She calls your mother Ibu, wouldn't be that hard to get her in your family's life, would it?
You think it is easy for me to adapt to all these things?
LIKE MY USTAZA SAYS,
CHANGE little by little.
Year by year, even. doesn't matter.
AS LONG AS EVERY YEAR PASSES, THERE IS ONE LEVEL OF CHANGE GOING UP.
You expect too fucking much out of me.
Too fucking much.
Me wanting to break up has got NOTHING to do with MY FEELINGS FADING.
NOTHING.
Well now all of you know why, so don't ask me in person if you see me alone.
Your expectations are too high i can't cope with it.
She's really PERFECT right? SMILING ALwAYS!
I'm sure she'd make your family SMILE from ear to ear!
But just so you know, she dissapears at the wrong time!
Now when it is the right time for her to butt in, she's not!
But when she shouldn't she'll appear!
Like the problem at the house!
Like how she met him when he wanted to!
But now You need her, right?
Try getting her.
All the best.
How do you think it is like for me,
Having my boyfriend's family especially his elder sister to critize me every single day since 20th May,
I won't take this shit from you.
Give it to someone else.
You admitted you fucking want me to be exactly like her.
NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
I AM NICE AND SINCERE AND A LOVING PERSON AND RESPECTFUL GIRL WHEN PEOPLE DO THE SAME TO ME.
If you don't see this, then I feel sorry for you.
I really do.
This entry may sound like I disrespect totally,
Well,
I've shown you Miss NICE.
Oh! MISS PATIENT even.
I have been all of these all this while.
It's going to stop.
And it starts now.
WHY NUR AZAHARI IS THE PERFECT BOYFRIEND :
(1) He always tells me i'm beautiful.
(2) He never fails to try and make me smile when I am down.
(3) He makes me feel better about stuff, because when I tell him my problems, he totally understands and responses like we're best friends.
He has been the biggest part of my life for 2 and a half years.
He's be so hard to let go of, I don't know if my heart would feel better.
If I'm not Azahari's gf, if I don't have him, who am I?
I'd feel completely alone for the first time in a long time. Maybe ever.
Now They're Choosing Sides. At 9:49 PM
